Let me see what you want me to see, Let me be who you want me to be, Lord.

Every Sunday night we visit a Village called Robin Egua. We meet with our families we disciple there in the neighborhood; it’s one of the poorest if not the poorest area. This week, or the past 2 weeks haven’t been great for me. They’ve been rough if I’m being honest. I never really struggled in confidence my whole life, but now I never struggle with it more. Just with multiple things; language barrier, not growing I feel like sometimes with making disciples, or just not being good enough. My good friend Hadassah mention to Lauren and I bible study last Monday that one of the reasons God gave us all this opportunity is to show and strengthen new gifts in us we didn’t know but always the gifts we know we have for God to show himself in them also. I know fully the Enemy has messed with my mind on this trip and I know I’m growing in the mist of this time with being discouraged and not much confidence and with it all I’ve had homesickness a lot lately. Well tonight while we were meeting with the family we usually meet on Sunday night’s I just had a breakdown and I couldn’t stop. I just tried to hurry and wipe my tears away but then Minga (I actually work with her at Projecto Pepe) and she’s the leader in our group but she just put her hand on my back. And I just lost it, she held me and then everyone in the group prayed for me. I felt so selfish because we weren’t meeting for me but for the family but then I just had this love and peace overwhelmed me. What we’ve been teaching them, they were using that with me. It’s crazy how God uses people and times you never expect for something so great over you. After the Bible study I walked out and there were a bunch of kids playing soccer with flat soccer balls and running in the dust and climbing on trees and these cool little playground things they have made themselves out of tires on the street and a rope. I remember I had open earlier a Twizzler king size pack that my mom sent in my package earlier this week I admittedly took it out and when I did this little girl name Dilva, made complete eye contact with me and we both started laughing. She came over I gave her a piece and then I was surrounded by kiddos and I was breaking pieces of the Twizzlers making sure every kid got a piece. Then afterwards I was playing soccer with the little boys and Dilva was telling me she could hold my bag and water bag. So I gave her to her after I played with the little boys for a little while I went over to the girls playing on the huge tire, it was so fun and I haven’t laughed/smiled like that in awhile! Slowly these kids I’ve never met was bringing my joy back and more than ever. We all sat and I sang some songs with them that I learned at Projecto Pepe then I notice these two girls looking at my two charm bracelets I had on and Dilva looking at my pretty cool chapstick I had in my bag, with no hesitation I gave the two girls my charm bracelets and gave Dilva my chapstick. They were amazed and smiling from ear to ear. My heart was so full at that moment. So every Sunday night I love the ride going back home from the village because it’s normally a 45 to hour drive. Just listening to music and looking out the window seeing great views of Africa and just thinking about my week and what God did and what He did through me, this Sunday I had such great joy on the ride back home.

Highlights for this week: God got me connected with this dance studio! I’ve prayed for God to show me how to use my talents and He opened this door for me, we had Mana (our cooks) baby shower this Saturday and it was such a great time with the girls and most importantly seeing her gorgeous smile, and last but definitely not least KESLEY AND MATTISON “Bucket” haha got married! I was so blessed to see it all, Technology is great even if sometimes it doesn’t want to act right. Then last night Ashlyn got to see her sister gender reveal party, it was exciting!

Prayer request: For God to continue to keep doing His work through His way with it all and I’ll follow it, Projecto Pepe, Thanksgiving coming up this week, Cape Verde, Derick and Lauren, Pastor and Diva, and my homesickness stage I’m going through right now. I miss my mom, dad, my step parents, my siblings, my family, Luke, his family, like crazy but my constant reminder is this year it’s me and God and here in Cape Verde. Pray God uses this homesickness for His will like I know He will! Especially with Holidays coming up.

I pray for you and love you all back home, with all my love always. ❤️

– Madison On Mission

Thank y’all!

2 thoughts on “Let me see what you want me to see, Let me be who you want me to be, Lord.

  1. Homesickness is terrible…especially when you’re so far from home! We are homesick back home missing y’all! I’m so thankful for the evening you spent with the kids in the village. I know they were truly a blessing for you and I know you blessed them to! I can just see that beautiful smile now! We will miss y’all at Thanksgiving but I’m so thankful for all of you! Continued prayers!

    Liked by 1 person

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